If it wasn’t

If it wasn’t for your touching me

I wouldn’t know what touch could be

If it wasn’t for your sweet embrace

I would never have looked into your face

If it wasn’t for your sparkling eyes

I wouldn’t have seen just where love lies

If it wasn’t for your soft  whispering

I wouldn’t know my heart could sing

If it wasn’t for your soft warm kiss

I would never have known what I missed

If it wasn’t for you warmth at night

I wouldn’t know what two just might

If it wasn’t for your body bare

I wouldn’t have loved you everywhere

If it wasn’t for your faith in me

I wouldn’t know how far to see

If it wasn’t for you my own true love

I wouldn’t know to rise above

I hold this all so close to me

I use it all to keep me free

So I’m the one I want to be

The one who loves. You eternally.

Birdlife

20200811_pho_Miepoll 04

Birds sit in the top of the trees

Planning attacks on insects and bees

They sit on their branches

Scanning insect sky dances

With shelter from leaves as their eaves

 

Birds on the end of a bough

Twitter loudly just to show how

They can talk to each other

Every sister and brother

In a way that says Hey, we know how!

 

Birds that forage on the ground

A set who are basically unsound

They defy law and order

Like lambs to the slaughter

Because predators are always around

 

Birds that drink from a dish

Do so in order to wish

For more handouts of bread

To keep them well fed

As their tails twitch and go swish

 

Birds that peck at a window

Are very much likely to forgo

Food on their plate

Appetite they may sate

Fighting themselves as a foe

 

Birds that fly in the sky

Look down and say my oh my

All the people down there

At whom we can stare

Choose to be grounded why oh why

 

Birds that float on the water

Think it’s the place where they oughta

Because the land is not safe

From trouble and strife

The water is a more secure quarter

 

Birds who love to eat worms

Queue to take it in turns

At freshly tossed compost

Of breaking down humus

Knowing a worm never learns

Two meals a day

Time for dinner

Well, we all knew what that meant

Time for the end of the day

Time to send friends on their way

Time to come in from outside

Time to come out from your room

Time to stop homework

Time to put down that book

Time to race to the bathroom

Time to tuck in that shirt

And brush your hair

Time to scrub those hands

Polish that face

Ready for inspection

 

Time to transform from

Rough and ready rascal

To be seen and not heard

 

Time to never be late

Time to take your designated

Place at the table quietly

With bowed head

Time to await your plate

Time to scan the newspaper

Standing tall in thick fingered hairy hands

At the other end of the table

Only the front and back pages ever viewed

While mum dutifully served

And offspring mutely ate

An unchallenged meal

Of meat and three veg

Tinned fruit

and milk for the weeds

 

She spoken to but never heard

They spoke at and ever erred

Sitting in silence always unnerved

 

Once fed desperate for dismissal

Before something went wrong

Before the security of bed

Where the anticipation of morning

And a new day unhindered

Would see a smiling chatty woman serve

And happily scold misdemeanours

In a bustling kitchen full of life

Breaking our bread

While the breadwinner toiled away

At that unhappy and mysterious place called work

Captivating and unexpected

Heading in opposite directions,

I saw her across the intersection.

The lights changed,

we both stepped into the street.

My eyes instantly locked onto her attractive pale oval face.

As she came closer our eyes met fleetingly.

She was captivating and unexpected.

After that first time I saw her

she became a recurring

dream.

 

And yet, we had not exchanged a word.

It was the light in her eyes that concentrated my attention.

They sparkled with mischief, fun, delight and  joy of life.

They were irresistible.

I intuitively knew they were telling it true.

Despite never knowing it before,

I knew Immediately I had been looking for those eyes forever,

looking for the person behind them all my life.

And there they were,

passing me on the road,

disappearing as fast as they appeared,

part of a human wave heading home from work,

also irresistible.

 

I have heard people say the first thing they fell in love with

were their partner’s eyes.

Well, these were those eyes.

They spoke to me directly, urgently.

of being together,

telling me there was more I must learn here,

all the things I needed to know for the right future

were behind those rich brown eyes

with the big dark pupils of evening.

Just those two deep pools of enticement alone were enough.

They called on me to throw caution to the wind,

to surrender myself to the yearning,

to give up everything for her

 

And I would have right there and then too

had not we been separated

at the very same instant we didn’t meet.

Moved by the pressed bodies of a dense compacted throng

going one way and the other,

as we passed I turned trying find her,

earnestly scanning the back of

as many sombre grey hats, coats and heads as I could,

engaged in a process of rapid fire elimination

until I caught my foot on the curb and stumbled.

I looked again.

She was gone.

 

Every following evening I waited at that corner.

Enveloped in my own dark winter proof cladding.

Examining the crowds.

Scrutinising every office worker heading home to dinner.

Muffled and reserved.

I sought that same light, that one bright spark, that point of difference

in the fast fading dusk of shortening days.

My own hope fading

as each short day felt longer and lonelier.

 

It was on the same day of the next week

she reappeared.

A Thursday.

How could no one else be alert to her quiet warm aura,

gently glowing against a background of gloomy evensong,

the trudging of homeward bound feet.

I fell for her.

I mean literally.

I was so preoccupied with not losing sight of her

I darted across traffic and was bowled over at her feet.

She almost fell over me.

She quickly sidestepped,

bent over,

put out her hand

and pulled me up.

All in one graceful movement.

She saved me from a trampling

and alternate futures

I didn’t want to contemplate

 

We stepped out of the human tide

into a shopfront vestibule.

She asked if I was alright?

I wasn’t. I was so embarrassed

I couldn’t speak but,

she just smiled

she straightened my coat, looked

me up and down,

said “That’s better” and asked would I like a cup of tea?

Three hours later we were still at that little table for two in the Block Arcade café.

 

Those eyes told no lies.

 

After I climbed the mountain

When I climbed the mountain

to stand at its summit

and declare

my love to the world

 

I had no idea

you were preparing

to leave

down there on the flat.

To turn away from my

rugged individualism

my heroics

my boyish raffishness

 

I had no

idea it was coming,

your going.

No insight you might even

have entertained

the idea or could be

thinking that way.

I didn’t know I was that way,

in your way

 

You never told me

what it was that got

your goat.

How was I to know I had to

change to keep you

or is that?

how was I to know I could

never keep you,

no matter how

much I tried or thought

I needed too

 

When I came home

from my victory

and declaration to

the world below. I was

still walking on air.

On the cloud of

the conquering and

the anticipation of you

 

You said there was

no evidence that

was the way

I felt

and there was never

likely to be.

That I was the only

one who knew

what was going on

in my head.

You said I was

my own best company,

that I should go

back to the mountain.

Where I belonged

The Way

The way a beloved dog rests a lazy head upon your knee

The way a wooing look invites you toward mutual intimacy

The way a cup of tea slows time and calms an over active mind

The way a good book immerses you in new realities that bind

The way a word becomes a story, a poem comes of rhyme

The way a voice becomes emotion, movement becomes a mime

The way a favourite song transports you back to that special place

The way a touch can speak of love as it brushes across your face

The way a first wildflower discovered announces coming spring

The way a view from a mountain can make your heart leap and sing

The way a beautiful landscape incites gratefulness, awe and joy

The way a true love will not  waste time with you by being coy

The way a walk in the forest restores hope, balance and well being

The way a look deep into the stars can change your way of seeing

The way a composted garden grows better in space and over time

The way a perception can be a knowing, a knowing can be a sign

The way a naked body is a beautiful body as long as there is beauty inside

The way a grievous loss becomes warm memory after someone special has died

The way a child’s innocence equates with unqualified trust

The way our lives play out

Live best you can

After it’s just

Dust

Recognise me? Recognise me!

Am I really

the one you see?

Or do you superimpose

someone else

over me?

 

Someone

I will never agree

to be

 

In your expectation

I will

dutifully

bend to your will

as a vassal

bends the knee

 

That’s not really me,

part of your hegemony.

 

Just now I need you

you see.

But, my duty to you

is not my duty to me.

As I strive for self determination

and security.

The Right Lateral

My left wrist between your breasts

My left hand upon your chest

My left forearm lies across your left ribs

My left elbow beside your abdomen

My left bicep hugs your flank

My left temple on your left shoulder blade

My chest against you back

Your buttocks cushion my groin

My quads align with the back of your thighs

The front of my knees inside the back of your knees

My tibia parallel your calves

Your soles rest softly on the dorsal aspects of my feet

Your soul binds my heart

Believe in me

Believe in me, believe in me, believe in me

Said each of the the guiltless emphatically

Ministers in the State Labor Party

Said each of the blameless emphatically

Ministers in the Federal Coalition Parties

We’ll create a safe and free society

Where rule of law and democracy

Are the state of play and how it should be

Trust in us, trust in us, trust in us

To build a world of justice without the fuss

Where all are equal and none are hushed

None are corrupted by power lust

Faith and hope, faith and hope, faith and hope

To save the civilised world, give us enough rope

See us tie it in knots and we’ll see how you cope

See us twist it and turn it, make it slippery with soap

Deceit and lies, deceit and lies, deceit and lies

We’re the cream at the top of reformist deniers

We laugh as the piss weak we hang out to dry

As our robodebts and branch stacking see due process die

Watch and despair, watch and despair, watch and despair

As we bring down noble institutions without a care

As we turn our society into one where no one will share

As we promote vested interests beyond repair

Calls to and from our small corner

Our connections to the world outside

Digital threads off the Tableland

Are brittle lines

That disappear into the ether

Whispers into the virtual world

Where they really go

I don’t know

I find an number, a url, an IP address

and click

To send or receive

My message goes out to somewhere

A response comes back from somewhere

So distant, is it real, this ethereal contact?

As real as a handshake, a hug or a kiss?

Y C U?

I wonder what it is I see you for

When all I crave is to see you more

There’s your smell I can’t resist

My melting heart after we’ve kissed

Your fingertip pressure upon my spine

Body electric your touch divine

The texture of your warm soft skin

The brush and rush of lovemaking

The way you walk and swing your hips

The way you talk with precious lips

Your voice a sound of sweetest measure

The sound of true love‘s spoken pleasure

The way you think and make me wonder

You shake my world, views torn asunder

And when you challenge it stirs in me

New hope and ways that I can see

 

Your hair holds aloft a thorny crown

You turn the wind right way around

Your shoulders strong they carry me

Arms embrace me meaningfully

Our limbs entwined our hearts on fire

Together, inspired, alight, desire

When your nose nuzzles my neck

I feel the comfort of a future set

The deep, dark pools behind your eyes

They drive me to resist good byes

I love to love you in every way

I need to see you every day

These are the reasons

Y I C U

Dreaming of Salt Water

Having just finished the complete series of inspirational Aubrey / Maturin historical novels I am left to reflect, had I read them as a boy I may well have run away to sea.

The sea the sea the rolling sea
Is all that I adore
Let me let me be upon the sea
Mother dear, I implore
Beside stern lantern’s fading light
I’ll wave to fading shore
To sail away year and day
And learn the ocean lore
A seaman right and able I’ll be
A landsman never more

Their hands

Their hands when they touch

Flow from rolling of wrists

Each touch is a signal

Each touch is a kiss

 

Their fingers are folding

On whispers and secrets

Cupped hands are holding

All ahead that will be

 

Their fingers trace circles

On their palms telling futures

Tender are the touches

Of their hands as their tutors

 

Their hands rest together

One on top of the other

Their hands mark their measure

Their harmonious hands

 

Their hands spread out

Open and true

Telling each story

Each soul on view

 

Hands hold each heart

Supporting each core

Their hands do the learning

Of what more to adore

 

The extension of hands

The parallel lines

Pads of sensitive fingers

Their dreaming defines

 

There are fists and shaking

There are dips and rise

There are quivering fingers

Before flickering eyes

 

When hands arc with arms

To gracious embrace

The lovers say nothing

As hands touch each face

 

Delicate lines are drawn

Across soft skinned cheeks

Then with touches to lips

Mouths start to seek

 

Two seeing hands

guide the blind

Sensuous and caressing they massage

Four hands synchronise

to breathe in kind

Entwined

in waves of love

My aubade

My aubade for thee

Played lovingly

Under window thine

On morning fine

Post sleepless night

Love’s tortured plight

I sing to confess

Hand on breast

 

As my music plays

I see our days

Together ahead

In love’s soft bed

Rich with the melody

Of my love for thee

 

Listen my love

At rest above

Unto me call

To climb thy wall

Open thy window

Into which I’ll go

To lie with thee

In love’s company

This is how I love you

You know how much I love you – much

I love so much to touch you – touch

Let’s not make a fuss about it – fuss

Just live and love together – just

I adore you I am all yours – adore

The more I see you the more I want you – more

Let’s spend our love together – love

Above the mundane we’ll rise – above

Be as one known one to – one

Like sun you light my world – like sun

Said Prospero, “Every third thought shall be of my grave.”

What Prospero said should not be decried

Give death its rightful standing in our lives

As a lens through which to view the good for which we strive

To ponder temporal versus the eternal that is always nigh

To elevate appreciation and despondency defy

 

And so, when vibrant youth immortality implies

When healthy vigour makes the future glisten in our eyes

When happiness is at its peak with all that it supplies

When prosperity creates opportunity many are denied

When security is such that all our fears it belies

Take a moment to remember it is only life that dies

 

Value life through death as on times fleeting wings it flies

The mind that honours death values life on high

Fear

I feel it behind me

stalking and faceless

skulking and malevolent

The hairs on the back of my neck

stand on end

like highly sensitised

oh so brittle antennae

 

I walk more briskly

I am tempted to run

but not tempted to tempt fate

Each step announces

a deepening sense of dread

a heightened anxiety

a rising feeling of panic

 

Evil is about tonight

amongst the chill night air

and the cold dull haloes

of the too distant streetlights

 

There it is again

The faintest of scrapings

rapid and sequential

advancing along the pavement behind me

Demonic footsteps of malicious intent

portents of pain and suffering

They strain my hearing to the point

of questioning whether I hear anything at all

but I know they are there

coming

closing

 

My eyes dart urgently

from side to side

A tic

twitches my cheek

I am shaken to my core

I startle at a moth that brushes my cheek

My head flicks left

My head flicks right

My fully dilated pupils

black as any pit in hell

scream at me for more light

and scour the edges of darkness

for a bolt hole

Sanctuary

any hope to cling too

Peripheral vision

reams in the sidelines

desperately seeking refuge

struggling to see ahead and aside at the same time

 

Sweat begins

to bead my brow

Cold sweat

Shivers

wrack my body

I begin to whimper

I don’t want to hurt

to plead for my life, my soul

for mercy

I don’t want to die alone

I don’t want to die here

and now

 

A movement

in the corner of my eye

I stumble in fright

miss the kerb

roll my ankle

The pain shoots up into my calf

and something tears

I gasp

My flight becomes hobbled

I limp on in fear

dragging my injured foot

scraping the rubber of the sole

on the hard surface

of coarse concrete

 

Then

comes the first touch

An icy point

A razor-sharp prickle

pierces my jacket

In one swift motion

needlelike it penetrates the fabric

just breaking the surface of my skin

 

From my lower back

a cold finger of ice

tracks a paralyzing pathway

up toward my right shoulder

Muscles cramp

then seize

into an excruciating knotted strip

of rock solid pain

Futile teardrops begin to fall

I sob in absolute horror

and misery

“Oh God, help me, somebody help me!”

I wheel

there is nothing there

 

 

The second touch

burns

as a keenly sharp edge

slices a clean shallow line

fully across my left cheek

This one is hot

like dry ice

The blood flows

as thick warm syrup

It makes its way down my pallid face

mixing with the tears and snot of fear

dripping onto my stained clothes

gluey on my hands

I didn’t even sense the blade coming

let alone what wielded it

 

Dread wells up inside me

threatens to overwhelm me

I pursue escape

from terrifying pursuit

The road is empty

straight

as far as the opaque darkness

allows my eyes to see

Where pavement ends

terraformed tracts of bare earth begin

A homeless housing estate

 

At the periphery of illumination

feebly provided by each dreary streetlight

is murk

thick with ominous foreboding

It envelops the world

on this souless, moonless night

Hope fades

 

The third touch

is a heavy thump

in the small of my back

It cripples me

I stagger

It is all I can do not to collapse

I must stop to breathe

to fall on my haunches

straining to fill my airless lungs

 

I double over

when I need to stand

I pause

when I need to run

I falter

when I need courage

I give into weakness

when I need to find strength

I heave

when I need to draw breath

 

The fourth touch

comes as a surprise

Desperately preoccupied with surroundings and survival,

my head and neck are parted,

as I miss the prophecy of imminent death

but fleetingly register

oh timely release

oh sweet oblivion

Savoured Moments #1

I wake at 4 in the morning
In the small hours
When small things matter
and ideas can repeat in your brain
taking on more significance than they deserve
eroding your ability to unwind
Like a tap dripping in the next room

But not this morning
This morning it is soft rain I hear
gently tinkling on the metal
of the carport roof outside

It is warm under the covers
I feel secure
as your soft regular breathing resumes
after you roll onto your side next to me

Was it an interrupted dream?
I like not knowing everything that goes on in your head
After all these years you can still surprise me

I snuggle up to your back
and rest my forehead between your shoulder blades
As I contemplate what it is to be us
your heels settle into the angle of my ankles
your calves align with my shins
your thighs mold to mine
and your backside schmoozes deliciously into my groin

I raise my head to create more space
so I can wrap my arms around you
pulling your upper body into mine

As my arms embrace your warmth
I soak up your textures
I draw in your smell
With my eyes closed
I sense every point at which we touch

I feel our body rhythms synchronise
as my muscles relax
and my mind smiles
with the intimate pleasure
of as much body contact as we can muster
I savour the moment
as peaceful sleep reclaims me

The Bees

20140306_pho_GrevilliaBees

I walk under the flowering trees

I hear a mighty incessant drone

The canopy is filled with bees

The bees that pollinate our homes

 

A gift from flower to flower they spread

The food chain thrives and grows

They keep all animals and people fed

With pollen transfer and honey flows

 

At our peril we ignore their plight

Bees are dying around the world

As they depopulate out of sight

Desiccated bodies shrivel and curl

 

We blithely march into the future

Pesticide monoculture deforestation

While bees cooperate store and nurture

We blithely march toward desolation

 

Save the bees should read the banner

The banner we have left unfurled

Plant more trees in every manor

Preserve this insect and save the world

33 kinds of rain

The misting rain as light as being

The pitter patter rain of anticipation

The sun shower rain of joyfulness

The dawn lit rain of new awakenings

The driving rain of persistent harassment

The piercing rain of pain and hurt

The bleak rain of uncertainty

The saturating rain of grief

The pounding rain of anger

The cold rain of fear and loathing

The persistent rain of melancholy

The drought breaking rain of celebration

The tropical rain of surprise and relief

The tin roof rain of night time snuggles

The slanting rain of getting under your skin

The fat wet rain of things to come

The dull rain of misery

The easing rain of hope for a day

The sheeting rain of washing your sins away

The aerosol rain that never settles

The eddying rain of indefinite endings

The ominous rain of growing darkness

The thunder laden rain of shock and awe

The storm driven rain of nature’s authority

The drenching rain of no escape

The floating rain of disproportionate outcomes

The harrowing rain of oppression and spite

The lightning flash rain of vision burned

The unexpected rain of scrambling for shelter

The flooding rain of tears

The icy rain of an unknown future

The sleety rain of chilled to the bone

The sunlit rain of clarity of purpose

The dancing rain of swirling possibilities

The evening rain of contemplation

The elemental rain of fundamental outcomes

The cloaking rain of secrecy

The wispy rain of dissipation

The hard rain of death

The transparent rain of release

The soft rain of peace